LET THOSE GHOSTS GO💖🌻

Stop living with ghosts.

It's hard for me to write this article as it hits home for me the most.
But I write. I write so that we go through this journey together.
I write so that you know that you're not the only one struggling.I write to release myself from these ghosts that I also live with.

There are so many of us living with ghosts and we do not realize we do. Even if we do, we do not want to let it go because we'll no longer have something to fight for, we'll no longer have pain to hold on to, we will no longer have someone to blame for our situations.
Ghosts are things or people that have hurt us in our past;be it a father or a mother who left us, be it an ex girlfriend or boyfriend who hurt us,be it someone who sexually harassed you, be it teachers who made us feel like we are not enough, be it people we were once compared to or even an older version of ourselves.
These things have made us feel inadequate, these things have made us question ourselves, these things have made us wonder time and again, had they not been there...had they not have happened...had i not met them... Would things be different? Would I be a better person? Would I be at a better place?

I know that when you are not at your best, it's easy to blame these people or these events for it. You say that "maybe had my father not left me, I'd be a better person".
"It is because of my ex-girlfriend that I do not believe in love".
But for how long?
For how long are you going to let these ghosts live in your house? For how long are you going to let this pain rule you? For how long are you going to carry this in your heart cause you're hurt?

Don't you see that all these ghosts are holding you back from reaching your fullest potential? Don't you realize that even if they are not in your present they are draining you just as much?

Let your ghosts go.
Let them live in the past.
I know it's hard, I know how much they hurt you, I know you've carried it in your heart for so long.
But
It's time to let those ghosts go.

I'm sorry you had to wait so long to hear this.🌻

IT IS OKAY ❤

It's been a minute you guys😂💕✨. Anyways, your girl is back.

So many people want to be better and grow and feel like they are moving forward with life but feel guilty about taking the steps to move forward.
Some time last year in October, I was feeling lost. I wanted to improve my skin( I have bad acne scars and skin issues ) but I wondered if it meant that I was not comfortable in my own skin.
I know I'm not the only one with these mixed feelings.
It's like you want to get better but you're afraid that it'll look like you're trying too hard to be someone else or you seem like a "wannabe".
This is so sad, the judgment that people pass on because others are trying to get better with their lives. It gets worse when it gets into our heads then we have to feel guilty that we are trying to be better people.
I want to tell you that IT IS OKAY.

•It is okay to go to the gym and cut weight if it'll make you feel better. If you want to get abs or a flat tummy, it is really fine.
•It is fine to use all products on your skin if it makes you feel nice.
•It is okay to eat and work out to add weight if you'll feel comfortable like that.

People pass on a lot of judgement on others just because they do not have the courage to better themselves.
This year do more for yourself.
Live in your head, but do not, I SAY DO NOT EVER FEEL GUILTY ABOUT WANTING TO BETTER YOU.

Dear Woman 🥀

Dear Woman,
I write this letter to you.
Listen.
You're beautiful, you're worth all the stars in the sky, you're more than any silver, gold or diamond and most of all you're enough. I know the presence of other women's beauty makes you doubt that of your own. I know that there are days you work so much on your diet to change your body type. I know there are days you stay up late looking at tutorials on “how to make skin glow". I know there are days you wear clothes so small just to expose your body and other days you put on so many clothes just to cover what you're ashamed of. I know all this cause I'm a woman just like you and I do too.
But you know what? It's okay, it's really okay to do all these things, you don't have to hide or be ashamed about all this.
It's okay to change your diet for you to look a certain way if it makes YOU more comfortable. It's okay to want to gain weight and it's okay to want to lose weight. It's okay to buy expensive products to make your skin better and to try out new things on your skin. It's fine to buy Make up and feel good about how you look. It's really okay to show off your skin and it's okay to cover it up.
Bottom line is; you're comfortable.
You're doing this for you and not for us. Not for society not for other people not cause someone told you you're not enough. Cause you are.

You're enough and you're more than enough. You're bright, you're intelligent pyou're so beautiful and you're so precious.
In all your little ways,YOU ARE.
You'll be so amazed when you stop paying attention to all your “flaws" to all the things you've labelled “your weaknesses",  “your ugly sides".

I'm sorry that society has put so many expectations on what the beauty bar is. I hope you'll learn that no one else defines you, no one has the right to.
You're beautiful in your own way, you really are.
                  ~yours truly,
                     The Struggler.

18;LEGALITY⛔

I must admit growing up has been more of a roller coaster than I thought it would be 🌪🌪.

When I was younger I knew I wanted to be a fashion model ,then at a point I wanted to be an Aeronautical Engineer.Then everyone told me to do Mass Communication and I did believe that I'd make the greatest News Anchor but things didn't go that way and I have been placed to do Public Policy and Administration which I know nothing about. You can imagine how scared I am.

I know I want to change the world,I want to change perspectives on things.I want to speak to so many people and tell them what I have in mind.I also want to be wealthy, wealthy in my relationships and of course in my Bank account.

A part of me is scared that these dreams of mine won't come true. You know? What if things don't work out or I stop being ambitious or people just don't react to the kind of energy that I have?
And some days this pulls me back, it gets to my head and I don't feel like I'm processing.
But a friend of mine told me this;

“Don't stop being ambitious but also don't let it get into your head.
Ambition can make you
1. Succeed
2. Become evil
3. Get depressed and die"
     

It only helps you succeed if you contain it, taking things slowly, very slowly, looking at the workability of things, so that you remain ambitious and not get to over ambitious
A dream is something that you wake up and you want it to be reality, a vision is something that you want to take a successive path towards achieving. Don't be a dreamer, be a visionary. Because as dreamers we'd despair and be tempted to downgrade our dreams so that they match our reality, but as visionaries, we only have to upgrade our faith to match our vision"~Nyerere Ernest.
                               

It spoke volumes and I knew I wasn't alone in this and I want you to know that you're also not alone.It's okay to be scared I just hope you know you're doing your best right now so don't give up on what you're doing. Some days you'll be exhausted and so tired just don't let those days define who you are.
I know I've given up on so many things that I would be great and here I am promising myself that I'll do better from now on.
I'm turning 18 and I'm going to make the best of it. You might be 19 right now or 22 or 23 even 35 and you know you can do better and do more, then make the best of it.

11/06/18✨

DEPRESSION.

Today someone asked me what depression is like for me.
Depression is complicated.
And everyone has their own different view on it.But for me,this is it.
Depression is wanting to be alone but still wanting people to care about you.It's avoiding talking about your problems but hoping that someone notices that you're really breaking inside.Depression is laughing all day,being strong,smiling,talking,solving other people's problems,carrying the weight of the world and going to bed that night falling into pieces,trying to catch your breath in the middle of your tears and wondering who will carry your weight.

.Depression is pushing people away and expecting them to stay but still pushing and pushing and still silently begging them to stay.
It is not wanting your self and hoping that other people want you.
And sometimes you're on top of the world and the next minute you come crumbling down.One minute you're hopeful and the next you feel like you have no purpose.
Other times you feel like you need a break.
A break from life,a break from people a break from the world.Cause maybe they break you enough.And other times it's not really death you want,just a coma maybe.
The worst part of it,is that you don't choose to be that way but you still are,you don't choose to be negative but still are,you don't choose to not be okay but it's still like that over and over again.And sometimes you don't even know what the problem is,and you try finding a solution to an unknown thing or is it a feeling.
Depression is heavy.It's complicated.It's so hard.And it's so exhausting.
It's like drowning and you feel yourself sinking and you try screaming but no voice comes out,and you try swimming up but you can't and you try breathing but you also can't and slowly by slowly you feel like you're gonna lose it but hoping that someone will dive right in and save you.

That's my definition.